• Base of the tail scratches **favourite of most cats** You know you're doing it right when their tail pops straight up!
• Back, sides, top of head, scratching and massaging
• Temple massages/rubs
• Chin - Under the Chin rubs/scratches
• Cheek massages
• Ear rubs (gently massage their ears between your fingers)
• Petting with a broad and deliberate stroke from nose down through the tail is usually a big winner
• Scratching under the armpits (strange but so true!)
• Belly rubs - I find it works best if you ask for belly rubs by starting with the back of their back legs. I also recommend giving them a small grabbable toy to play with as you do this as they sometimes enjoy it so much that they have extra energy and can grab you with their mouth/claws gently but this is not an approveable behaviour that you should avoid them doing. I akin the belly rub 'squirms' to being ticklish - kids love it but they can't help but squirm and act out. You will know your Bengal is enjoying the belly rubs if they willingly are on their backs. Never force a belly rub... bad things happen ;)
• Legs and paw massages - this can be tricky and not all cats love it
• With strange, scared or new cats be gentler with pets, massages and start with scratching the back/base of tail and along the back to gain trust and then work to other areas.

Help train them to learn that if they run and hide they don't win by following them calmly and slowly, pet them when they stop or pulling them out of their hiding spot, giving them some pets and then letting them go.

If they are hiding under or behind something reach in and gently pull them out (if necessary scruff them to safely pull them out of hiding). And pet them.

If they squirm when held scruff them to encourage them to settle. Don't let the cat squirm and get away - this teaches them that they can do this. But it means when they settle down you have to put them down (teach / train them that being quiet means they can be put down). **WARNING if you can't safely scruff/control them don't let them injure you as they squirm just to win the argument - try another time. **

Before you pick them up grab a small toy like a ribbon or string. Pick them up and take them to a sofa. Sit with them on the sofa but put them right beside you (not on you) and pet them and see if they'll respond to playing with the toy. Playing may help them relax. Try petting them while they are playing. Any interaction helps build trust/bonds.

I also find petting them with them on and/or snuggled in a polar fleece blanket is like kryptonite for them. But it's best to ask for snuggle time AFTER you've played with them to tire them out - ever try and make a kid nap when they aren't tired? Same results with a cat ;) I usually play them out and then put on a movie, grab a snuggle blanket and pet them and encourage them to stay and sleep with me (on or beside me doesn't matter). I find spending this time together can go a long way to building that friendship with your cat :)

That said cats should have their personable space respected. If they are obviously upset, give them some time and come back, but DO come back and try again. Think small victories - each day with regular care/love you will gain new small victories. Don't expect any cat to be an all trusting, brave and loving cat from day one. Cats respond differently to different people and in different situations. So your cat will act differently at the vets or with strangers. They are allowed to act differently! Be aware of this and use your techniques to help them relax :)

Scruffing or to scruff a cat is to grab the loose extra skin at the back of a cats neck, just above the shoulder blades.

This 'scruff' technique is used by their mothers to safely transport their babies about to a new location. A kittens natural reaction to being scruffed is to curl up and be still (to make it easier for mom to transport). Luckily this technique also works for us human counterparts and doesn't wane as cats get older.

The technique can be used to calm a cat, help keep a cat still when trimming nails, visiting the vet or helping to carry a cat into it's cat carrier.

Warnings

Twitching tail - UN-like a dog a wagging cat tail means an unhappy cat

Growling - like a dog this means an unhappy cat

Death Stare - if your cat turns to look at you and their eyes aren't half-closed but glaring at you - this is a warning to stop

Nipping - if your cat is gently nipping at you it could be a warning OR it could be you're doing something ticklish - you may want to stop

Squirming - unhappy cat - but they may just be uncomfortable. Some cats prefer sitting beside you versus on your lap for instance.

Approval aka You're doing a Good Job

Half closed Eyes - this is a happy cat if they close their eyes, if they look at you and do the half-closed eyes they are saying they trust and like you

Purring - this is usually a very good sign. Sometimes kitties purr yet are still nervous, it means they aren't sure yet but are enjoying the attention

Stretching - a cat that is stretching during pet-time means they are enjoying and relaxed

Sleeping - a happy cat is a relaxed cat which often leads to their favourite past time; napping!

Head Butts - If they do this they are often asking for more !!

Pushing themselves towards your hands - this means please do it more!!

Here is my first stab at showing how to love on your Bengal. The big grey guy is our Loki and the others are older kittens - we were able to duplicate 'scared/nervous kitty' by having the saw going on in the background ;)
I'll be adding new ones with young kittens when my latest litters get older.